Life Update
You know , the damn feeling when you're scrollling the oh-called smartphone, trying to actually reach someone but then you realized, you got no one. Lonely as heck.
I mean, look we were supposed to use the phone to reach for people around us and stay connected to them but; sigh. I can't really explain my feeling at the moment but what I'm sure is, its hurt so much in here and I don't know why.
Last night, I cried so bad and I keep mising someone; I'm not sure who is this someone but yep I can't help but to miss them. It felt like, there's a huge hole inside of me and nothing I do can help keeping me whole again.
Life ain't really easy right now and I can't really call anyone even tho there's tons of contact number in the goddmn phone.sh*t, I'm freaking lonely. Sorry for cursing btw. But I just don't like troubling them with my un stable emotions because who knows that they might having it worse than what I'm currently feelings.
And now my trust issues are getting too damn hard to handle.
I spent most of my time with my friends and we are quite close, I guess but why I can't seem to put my trust towards them. I hate it, to be having a feelings like they gonna betray me and leave me alone. Whenever I'm with them, I keep having this kinda thoughts, like I'm a weirdo, I'm not fit with them. I'm so guilty whenever we hang out together, chillin or what-so-ever and somehow I still feel lonely. We're in a freaking crowd, how can this loneliness appear?
I'm so messed up.
I hate this so much and my head keep reminding me that, if I push all these people away, my life will be easier and being left alone will make me less lonelier. But .. it's really all the way around. Hahhhaha
I really need a savior and my best friend back but somehow, I'm the only hero left in my life. :')
Iylia
I mean, look we were supposed to use the phone to reach for people around us and stay connected to them but; sigh. I can't really explain my feeling at the moment but what I'm sure is, its hurt so much in here and I don't know why.
Last night, I cried so bad and I keep mising someone; I'm not sure who is this someone but yep I can't help but to miss them. It felt like, there's a huge hole inside of me and nothing I do can help keeping me whole again.
Life ain't really easy right now and I can't really call anyone even tho there's tons of contact number in the goddmn phone.
And now my trust issues are getting too damn hard to handle.
I spent most of my time with my friends and we are quite close, I guess but why I can't seem to put my trust towards them. I hate it, to be having a feelings like they gonna betray me and leave me alone. Whenever I'm with them, I keep having this kinda thoughts, like I'm a weirdo, I'm not fit with them. I'm so guilty whenever we hang out together, chillin or what-so-ever and somehow I still feel lonely. We're in a freaking crowd, how can this loneliness appear?
I'm so messed up.
I hate this so much and my head keep reminding me that, if I push all these people away, my life will be easier and being left alone will make me less lonelier. But .. it's really all the way around. Hahhhaha
I really need a savior and my best friend back but somehow, I'm the only hero left in my life. :')
Still smiling,
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